Goldielocks and the three shinobi! Cha!
by xXSasukeluvaXx
Summary: silly fic with Naruto, Sasuke, Itachi and Kisame in it. First they all want Naruto for dates, but what next? Who truly deserves the blonde?


**Naruto's Guys**

**Disclaimer: You and I know I don't own Naruto**

**A bit OOCness okay? And yaoi.**

"So are you coming with me on Saturday, babe?" Itachi enquired, flicking a glossy strand of raven hair away from his eyes.

"Well…I don't know." Naruto replied, pretending to think deeply.

"There will be ramen." Itachi bribed, while Naruto fantasized about his other love, ramen.

"Yeah, but I always eat at Ichikaru's, there's nothing special there, just the ramen I eat every day." Naruto mumbled,

"Hmm…I'll make it myself, a special Uchiha recipe." Itachi grinned, no one could resist the special Uchiha recipe, only some Uchihas can master the skill of the recipe.

It was an ancient recipe made by the first Uchiha to be able to make ramen, Uchiha Ramenio, he was the only one in the clan then that could master the art of ramen. He tasted his masterpiece, it was too good to be true, and so he never shared any of it with the rest of the clan. But it was too good for his taste buds and he blew up, because he was not a true ramen lover, the end.

Naruto nodded excitedly, then he noted down the date in a froggy schedule book, it came in a set with the purse, you want one? It's from 'froggy boggy world'.

Itachi smiled and dashed happily over the escalating rooftops, Naruto walked home happily humming his ramen song.

It goes like this…

R-A-M-E-N

I love you man!

R-A-M-E-N

Lets pop you in the pan!

R-A-M-E-N

I want to marry you and Ita-

But his prancing and dancing was interrupted by Sasuke, who pounced out of a bush at the side, very stealthily, ooooooohwie! Oohlala!

"Naruto! I've finally found you!" Sasuke screamed, giving Naruto a heart attack,

"S-Sasuke! Why'd you have to sneak up on me like that!" Naruto asked, staring at the unusually smiling face in front of him.

"I got cinema Tickets! To the new film 'Dude, where's my toilet?' Innit cool!" Sasuke boasted, waving two cinema tickets right in the blonde boys face.

"Gee, you sure are hyperactive Sasuke." Naruto muttered watching Sasuke the 'Avenger' start dancing and hopping about.

"You're coming with me on wednesday aren't you! Eh? EH!" Sasuke asked anxiously awaiting Naruto's answer.

"Well…I'm not sure I can…" Naruto said trying to remember what he was thinking about before Sasuke interrupted him.

"…Please! Please come!…You hate me don't you! Is that why! Is it!" Sasuke enquired looking worried.

"Um, Sasuke just chill man…"

Sasuke made a cute face, way cuter than ever, liquid pearls sliding out of his glistening eyes.

"…Sasuke…st-stop it…face too cute! Argh! Nooooo too persuasive! I-I'll come…just turn off the power!" Naruto mumbled, weakening at Sasuke's convincing hidden power.

"R-Really! …WHOO HOO! IT'S A DATE! YAY! See you Saturday my dear!" Sasuke shouted joyfully, he handed Naruto the ticket and skipped off singing about him.

"…" Naruto said, he looked in his schedule book, 'OH NO! it's on the same day as my date with Itachi-kun!' he thought frantically, "And the same damn time!", He rushed home quickly.

He flung opened the door and tripped over a large package in the hallway.

"Huh! What's this?" Naruto asked reading a little note card on the box, "Hello my sweet, I have arranged a day at the spa, where you will be personal pampered and massaged by me, be in pure luxury on Saturday at the Konoha spa 10:30 am, see you there Foxy buns. P.S there is a small present for you in the box."

Naruto opened the box, inside was…dun dun dun! Many many pictures of Kisame and a big teddy bear. Naruto had a small mental breakdown, what was he going to do with three dates on the same day, he couldn't go on them all!

"Hmm…ramen first, thinking later." He said and went to cook himself some grub, and then he racked his brains for an idea.

He could have two bunshins go on two of the dates, but which dates! Or he could cancel on them…no that is way cruel! He could get some other people to henge into him and go on two of the dates…Or he could…not go on any of them or…scream like a nut for a while and get someone else to help him.

He did the last thing, scream like an idiot and run around frenzied. Then he ate more ramen, luckily Sakura walked by.

Naruto shot to action "SAKURA-CHAN!" he screamed, she came to the window,

"What is it now Naruto! I don't have time!"

"But it's about Sasuke!"

Sakura leapt to Naruto's side,

"SASUKE!"

"Yes Sakura, I have a date with Sasuke and I want you to go on it for me."

"Pfft! A date with Sasuke! He's not _gay_ you know. Stop being silly!"

"I'm not."

"…Y-you and Sasuke are _gay_!"

"Er-hem it may seem so…"

"…but Sasuke…" Sakura was zoned out for a while, she came back to her senses when Naruto shook her madly.

"Please! Go on it! Henge into me or something…please, isn't a date with Sasuke what you've always wanted!"

"Well…but he's _Gay_, and you're _Gay_, is Kakashi-sensei _Gay_ as well huh!" Sakura asked, thoughts of Sasuke and Naruto kissing in the cinema flooding into her mind.

"…Hmm…Never thought about that, I guess he is, 'coz he always hangs around with Iruka-sensei after everyone's left." Naruto answered.

"So when is this _Gay_ date?" Sakura asked sheepishly,

"Will you quit saying gay! And in that weird tone too! Do you have something against gay people!"

"N-no Naruto…Pfft…_Gayboy_! Hahahahahahha!" Sakura laughed and ran off giggling hysterically.

"_GAAAAY…BOOOY! HAHAAHAHAH!_"

"Sakura-chan wait! Aww great now who's gonna go on the date!" Naruto asked, he rubbed his temples with his fingers and sat down cross-legged. Kakashi sensei flew onto the windowsill,

"Yo! Naruto, I think Sakura's gone a bit nutsy cuckoo, anyway have you seen Iruka!" Kakashi said looking around in Naruto's house.

"No I haven't, now get lost!" Naruto screamed and smacked the window into Kakashi's face, Kakashi flew 100,000 feet in the air and landed next to Iruka, at the beauty salon.

Naruto walked backwards and forwards, his brain hurt from too much thinking.

"What's the matter my honey!" Sasuke asked, wrapping his arms around Naruto's neck,

"Huh! Sasuke! W-what are you doing here!" Naruto enquired, as Sasuke plonked down on his sofa.

"Just checking in on you, about Saturday, I'll have to cancel, Sorry my sweetheart." Sasuke said slowly and sadly,

"CANCEL THE DATE! YEAH! I mean NOOO!" Naruto acted.

Sasuke went over and cuddled him,

"Gomen gomen gomen, you can always come over to my house on Sunday, we could go to the park too." Sasuke suggested, squeezing Naruto tightly in his arms.

"Ugh…Sasuke too tight."

"Sorry my darling."

"Okay Sunday would be great." Naruto said, Sasuke smiled, like the Cheshire cat, his pristine teeth beaming.

Sasuke kissed Naruto on the cheek and jumped out of the window, Sakura ran past like a drunk duck and began chasing Sasuke. She pounced like a wildcat and Sasuke got squished right through the earths crust and into where the yetis live. Naruto had a little sigh of relief, one date was cancelled, what about the other?

He'd just have to go on both at the same time, swapping over, henges and bunshins were just too risky to use.

Naruto, ate ramen, then ate ramen, then ate ramen and once again ate ramen. He fell asleep from fullness eventually, he was dreaming about wonderful ramen until the phone rang, and Naruto was just about to marry the ramen and say 'I do'.

"Hnn…what!" Naruto said yawning,

"OOOH! Naruto! I love you!"

"Who the hell is this!"

"You're secret admirer…he he!" the 'secret admirer' giggled,

"Um…okay what ever you say." At that moment Naruto slammed the cordless phone on the hook. "Aah peace at last."

RING RING! Naruto winced and snuggled deep into the covers, RING RING! He put the eiderdown pillow over his ears, RING RING! "Aww for Pete's sake!" Naruto yelled and picked up the phone once more, he could hear girly giggling.

"What is it now!"

"He he he! N-a-r-u-t-o-k-u-n! he he!"

"WTF!"

"It's…pfft!…It's…"

"For the love of ramen! Who the freakin hell is this!"

"It's…your father, do you not recognize your own fathers voice!"

"WHAT!"

"Luke, I am your father!"

"This isn't 'Star Wars' you know!" Naruto yelled, cutting off the conversation and chucking the phone on the floor.

RING RING! "ARGHHHHHHHHH!" he picked up the phone again.

"OoooooOoooooooOOOoOOooh!"

"NANI!"

"It's Uchiha Itachi."

"Itachi!"

"Yeah man! I mean, I just wanna say…come to the date in…a skirt!"

"What!" Naruto screamed.

"Skirt or no ramen!" then the person on the other end of the phone laughed like a maniac,

"WHY should I!"

"Actually, forget that, come to the date in a pfft…black dress…and wear stilettos! hahahahahha! By the way this is your great count Oolaf-" then the phone went dead.

"A black dress!" Naruto didn't know he just got pranked by…Kakashi the magic scarecrow woman, man. Naruto rummaged through his wardrobe, "Aha! Found it!" Naruto took out a short black dress; it um…came free with ramen? He put it on; it fitted exactly the way it should.

He as soon going to his date, only seven hours left, what was he gonna do in the meantime? Eat ramen, eat ramen and find some stilettos. He found a tall pair with lacy straps and glitter, they were a bit too big for him but, hey as long as it looked good.

They belonged to um…Rock lee, he left them there when he tried to um…to nick off with Naruto's frog purse. Gai sensei said it was cute.

He began his walking in stilettos training, it was a tough challenge, but he had to master it, for Itachi's mad sake. He almost fell over and smacked his brains into the coffee table; he finally got the hang of it, after getting several little or rather large bumps and bruises.

The time finally came; he had to go on two dates…

**Hmm… first chapter finished! Please review! Hope you liked it so far.**


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